FAR.... a long way to get beer...
Ray.... the guy that sells me beer....
drowned had their corpses displayed in their homes and
beneath rubble cried out for help. When the drinkers came to their senses they set out
ME.... the guy... who drinks the beer,
At this time, I am unable to sell my honey lager because my major supplier suffered an infestation of varrao mites. I hope to be back in business soon!
My honey lager is blended with wildflower honey. Unlike grocery store beer which is filtered and heated to make it all the same, mine is cold brewed and filtered using natural processes and a centrifuge I liberated from Stanford during a military surplus auction. The swill you get in the grocery has more chemicals than a hooker has STDs. Born on dating? So what? I got a guarantee - if it don't taste good, give it back and I'll drink it.
Beer has healing quantities too! It makes ugly women beautiful and lets even the biggest loser get some sex. Ancient Egyptians used it just for these purposes. I know because I read it on the Internet.
In 1997, when my first vat produced beer, I extracted it and started using it instead of tea and water and in all my baking. I gave bottles of it to my friends. The response was incredible! All these alcoholics started thinking I'd give them free beer forever. What with the added nicotine, they didn't know why they wanted it so bad. Suckers. I learned that trick on the Internet too. So in 1999 I started Marc's Beer and added the second vat. For people who had never tasted anything except grocery store beer, it was a revelation! Twice the alcohol content with half the carbs! Now I sell my beer at the Yountsville Farmer's Market and the Napa Downtown Farmer's Market. And don't you worry! I don't put none of that nicotine in there any more, promise! Oh, and if it tests positive for something else, you might have ended up with my special batch and I'll want that back.
I sell Marc's Honey beer in 16oz, 32oz, and 64oz single serving bottles. Eventually I hope to sell them on the web. Watch here for more about that.
I love how the light glistens off of a newly emptied bottle. It's magical.
These are the little bottles. I call them sippies.
TEA.... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...